Love for her Daughter

2012-04-13

“Run baby – Run Like the Wind” My daughter Rikki

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150808325015229&saved
Yes, she is a Dombrowski - I gave her the first 7 years - her foundation. We have never been allowed to see or talk, so until and if that day should ever come, -- the reality as is with so many mothers, I will never know my daughter, as I have not known her for the past 13 years.
She knows only that she hates me -en re dad. She is angry, she has been forced to suffer for so very long. I pray only for her freedom, hers... if I never see or hear from her again, but know she is finally free from the prison that she only knows-- then I pray that she can one day begin to heal.

The only reason, and was the 1st time since I lost Rikki that I was able to be so close to her at the track meet was simply b/c she does not know me. Does not recall what i look like, and of course their has been minimal to mostly no communication at all this past 13 years. We are strangers.
It was a special gift to be so close after all these years, I will cherish that video.
Rikki is gone, there are no more court battles, there is no justice ever in the system. One day we will meet again, perhaps not in this lifetime, but in another.

I can say with all honesty after 18 years of court bullshit-legal child trafficking, torture, torment....I am glad it is -has been over.
Now, to try to seek peace in what is left of my life, and of course to continue to expose, to warn mothers to run, run hard run fast.
https://www.facebook.com/AngelFury/timeline/story?ut=32&wstart=962434800&wend=965113199&hash=10150788132295229&pagefilter=3

2011-09-23

Topeka Kansas: Failure to Protect Violates Statutes

The hour heated up in the Zeus Radio Studio starting with a discussion about the city of Topeka , KS decision to stop prosecuting domestic violence cases with my suggestion that the District Attorney obtain permits and go into the cemetery business. The city of Topeka is throwing victims' lives to the wolves disguised in sheep's clothing, more commonly known as the violent offenders.

The city is hiding behind the budget because frankly Kansas does not see intimate partner violence a crime.

The Shawnee County press release: September 15, 2011

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Dakota Loomis • 785.438.9449

Shawnee County DA’s Office and City of Topeka Working to Resolve Misdemeanor Case Filings

__________________________________________

Released in Cooperation with David Bevens · City of Topeka · City Communications Manager · 785.368.1642

Shawnee County District Attorney Chad Taylor and Interim City Manager Dan Stanley met today to discuss the prosecution of misdemeanor cases occurring within Topeka city limits. The meeting centered on how best to preserve public safety given recent budget cuts sustained by the District Attorney’s Office. Both the District Attorney’s Office and the City of Topeka are hopeful that an amicable agreement will be reached shortly that will be in the best interest of all Topekans. Discussions will continue over the course of the next few days and will focus on crafting a mutually agreed upon resolution that will ensure the efficient prosecution of all city misdemeanors.

# # #

Translation if your dog bites someone you will be prosecuted. If you spouse or significant other threatens or causes significant bodily injury, you are out of luck!

According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, current data, there are16,800 homicides (reported)attributed to intimate partner homicide per year and $2.2 million in medically treated injuries costing $37 billion per year!

______________________________________

Is Topeka Kansas in violation of their very own State Statues?

22-2307 : Domestic violence calls; written policies to be adopted by law enforcement agencies; contents. (a) All law enforcement agencies in this state shall adopt written policies regarding domestic violence calls as provided in subsection (b). These policies shall be made available to all officers of such agency.(b) Such written policies shall include, but not be limited to, the following:
(1) A statement directing that the officers shall make an arrest when they have probable cause to believe that a crime is being committed or has been committed;
(2) a statement defining domestic violence;
(3) a statement describing the dispatchers' responsibilities;
(4) a statement describing the responding officers' responsibilities and procedures to follow when responding to a domestic violence call and the suspect is at the scene;
(5) a statement regarding procedures when the suspect has left the scene of the crime;
(6) procedures for both misdemeanor and felony cases;
(7) procedures for law enforcement officers to follow when handling domestic violence calls involving court orders, including protection from abuse orders, restraining orders and a protective order issued by a court of any state or Indian tribe;
(8) a statement that the law enforcement agency shall provide the following information to victims, in writing:
(A) Availability of emergency and medical telephone numbers, if needed;
(B) the law enforcement agency's report number;
(C) the address and telephone number of the prosecutor's office the victim should contact to obtain information about victims' rights pursuant to K.S.A. 74-7333 and 74-7335 and amendments thereto;
(D) the name and address of the crime victims' compensation board and information about possible compensation benefits;
(E) advise the victim that the details of the crime may be made public;
(F) advise the victim of such victims' rights under K.S.A. 74-7333 and 74-7335 and amendments thereto; and
(G) advise the victim of known available resources which may assist the victim; and
(9) whether an arrest is made or not, a standard offense report shall be completed on all such incidents and sent to the Kansas bureau of investigation.
History: L. 1991, ch. 93, § 1; L. 1996, ch. 208, § 3; July 1.

Below is the show I urge everyone to listen. Can a class action suit be filed in the State of Kansas for failure per the current statutes? It is worth investigating? In the coming months we will gather a team of legal experts to visit and review at the Federal level and the State of Kansas's "failure to protect."

Attorney and Author Barry Goldstein and National Advocate and Mothers Without Custody Expert Claudine Dombrowski

Sep 22, 2011

To listen to Show CLICK HERE --------> Susan Murphy Milano: TIME'S UP!! 9-22-2011

Download Podcast - Susan Murphy Milano: TIME'S UP!! 9-22-2011
Right mouse click and choose "save as" or "save link as" to download a podcast mp3 file to your computer.

A victims first scream is help;

A victims second scream is justice

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education . She is a specialist with intimate partner violence cases and prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.
Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host ofThe Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show " with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire .
If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

2011-06-27

No Way Out But One : Fund Raising Update by Garland Waller (Please spread widely)

Dear Friends: Click here....No Way Out But One for update

Fundraising Update from Garland Waller on Vimeo.

Click here to donate even just $5.00 http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2038674816/no-way-out-but-one-a-story-of-love-and-justice/pledge/new?clicked_reward=false&logged_in=false&p=0&v=u

We have good news, bad news and more good news. The real good news it that post-production of the full-length version of No Way Out But One is going great. We have received the never before seen FBI files, and we are finishing up our final interviews. This is really going to be a powerful story about one remarkable mother’s efforts to keep her children safe, and the harrowing experience that Child and Family Court has become for so many protective parents and children.

The bad news is that we are coming up on the deadline for contributions to Kickstarter and we have a long way to go. But the other good news is that if we can get a substantial number of modest $5 individual contributions – yes honestly, just $5 will do it – someone will kick in a major grant to help us reach the final goal of $20,000 to complete and distribute the film.

We are deeply indebted to the women and men who have already given generously because we are getting there, but this one particular donor wants to see that there really is a GROUNDSWELL OF SUPPORT. It’s all in the numbers.

If you have already given, thank you and if not, you can still help soooo much. Just post this, send this, get this word out.

Ask friends to compare it to a skipping a latte.... or just give $5 because by adding $5, so many can help reach $20,000 for a good cause. The issue is so important. We, in this group, already know that. The issue of family court injustice affects so many people’s lives.

We are totally dedicated to the project. But we must have this funding to complete all the work we need to do.

So, yes, I am begging, please post this request on FACEBOOK, Tweet it, send it out to your groups – all your groups. It’s a numbers game. Help us win!

Tell your friends, all they have to do is click here....

No Way Out But One

Thank you.

Garland

No Way Out But One

2011-05-31

CHAPTER TWO Grandma’s Pearls of Wisdom

CHAPTER TWO

Grandma’s Pearls of Wisdom

May 18, 2011

It seems that this day there is no skirting this one. My mother, Rikki’s grandmother. Last night I attended the Kansas Blue Ribbon Commission for judiciary overhaul. I so hate doing these things. The most of the crowd there were CPS people. Daddy’s who wanted to strip and punish mommy more—a very religious ‘grandmother perhaps even great grandmother’. I offered only a few suggestions—get rid of therapeutic jurisprudence, and consequences from the derelict judges—who are criminal themselves. E.g. passing a law in 2008 HB XXXX that states Judges must follow the law, law.--- Only to have that same judge again break that law—law. Then, instead of consequence, he retires to Washburn University, to teach law. Yeah, can you say insanity? That’s called our Justice System. “just-us”

My heart, feeling low this day, perhaps the rain, perhaps just the time. I began thinking about my mom and in 2007 the motion I filed for Rikki to see her granny one last time alive, as her health and terminal illness had advanced, granny was seeing her grandchildren one last time before she became bed ridden and died.

This is a painful subject for me, as I have a lot of guilt about my mother. I should have been there for her, I was not. She told me to stay here and fight for her granddaughter. I did. But no victory. And mom died alone, and in pain. I was not even notified of her death until 5 hours after she died. Time enough for the so called care takers to prop her dead body in her chair and literally rob her of everything. There was nothing left in her house except a few mice. They even stole her oxygen bottles her electric wheelchair.

So, I come out here, to my special place, one without phone, without internet (except my mobile) to be free, to do what I usually do out here—normal stuff, and no think, healing time. But apparently I am to write about granny as the following poem was open and looking at me from a Bradford exchange book- ( mom used to always order stuff from Bradford exchange—it was her trademark—one that she passed onto myself—and one that Rikki and I both always loved about granny.)

As I sit watching Iron Jawed Angels, I type in the poem that met me at the door. (fresh water pearl necklace accompanies poem—or other way around)

Grandma’s Pearls of Wisdom

I’ve travelled paths you’ve yet to walk

Learned lessons old and new

And now this wisdom of my life

I am blessed to share with you

Let kindness spread like sunshine

Embrace those who are sad

Respect their dignity, give them joy

And leave them feeling glad

Forgive those who might hurt you

And though you have your pride

Listen closely to their viewpoint

Try to see the other side

Walk softly when you are angry

Try not to take offense

Invoke your since of humor

Laughter’s power is immense!

Express what you are feeling

Your beliefs you should uphold

Don’t shy away from what is right

Be courageous be bold

Keep hope right in your pocket

It will guide you day by day

Take it out when it is needed

When it’s near, you’ll find a way

Remember friends and family

Of which you are a precious part

Love deeply and love truly

Give freely from your heart

The world is far from perfect

There’s conflict and there’s strife

But you still can make a difference

By how you live your life

And so I’m very blessed to know

The wonders you will do

Because you are my granddaughter

And I believe in you

Wow. That is my mom to the letter. In fact I feel her coursing through my veins now. I know that my mother has told Rikki this very same thing. She always believed in her granddaughter. There’s was a special bond. I have to in my heart believe that it still is.

Grandmother never was able to see Rikki that late fall in 2007. The Courts totally ignored the motion for granny to see her—as they:

1. Knew it would hurt all three generations beyond words and it did.

2. Rikki and granny’s love for each other was dangerous to the ‘abusers’ and would invoke a strength and hope in Rikki that must at all and any cost be stopped as Rikki’s silence and her misinformation – is and was their complete power to maintain control—and they did- they do.

Not even in my supervised visitation with armed guards—with granny in wheelchair and with oxygen. They refused to let Rikki and granny have that one last time—but they did allow the dog. Granny was taking care of Rikki’s dog- since the custody switch. They allowed the dog to go to supervised visitation, but not granny.

When, my mother died October 28^th, 2008, I had just finished with another rally/march to end Domestic Violence here in Topeka, Kansas. Jana Mackey the KS-NOW lobbyist had just been murdered by her boyfriend, the community was still reeling from her murder then his suicide, that it was an exhausting march for me. Jana’s mother and father the following year began to actively campaign to end violence. But this year was as I feel I always am, alone in the struggle. Something I know to be true of all survivors-- all true advocates to stop the violence.

I had gotten home from the march the day before my mother died. It was wet and rainy and so very cold. I am unable to walk well, my bones and joints with osteoarthritis and from the many breaks rheumatoid arthrisitis as well.

I was so very tired, I recall I was not allowed at this time (as many times throughout Rikki’s child hood) to have absolutely any contact with her. The following morning I was informed of my mother’s death.

Both were gone. Rikki and granny, my rock, my mother- dead.

Then began the motions, to allow Rikki to at least go to her grandma’s funeral. Daddy’s Motions to disallow and to further gain a stronghold in the ultimate power and control of Rikki and I. We had an emergency hearing on November 4th, 2008. It was as to be expected, an abuser will always kick you hardest when you are down, I knew this going in. It was like the flood gates of hell opened up in that court room. I felt my mom more that time than I have ever since. Of course, it was not allowed. Rikki and I were not allowed to attend granny’s funeral. I had to go alone.

I had to identify my mother’s body over the internet. My mom planned for everything, except she forgot to sign her own cremation papers. I had to do that as well and send via electronically—I was unable to get to Texas to do this. In the electronic age, it was all done via the internet, and facsimile.

Once, this was taken care of had to arrange for the transport of not just her ashes- but those of her husband as well—he had died just a few months before, mom had him cremated sitting on her fireplace mantle. She wanted to bring him back to Kansas for his funeral. We brought them both back to Kansas and their funeral was held together. Finally the day of her funeral, November 9^th, 2008. It was my mother’s birthday she would have been age 61. I never could remember her birthday. Now I will never forget it. I did not even know who was president until after the funeral, a week or more later— as my devastation was complete. Obama had won, so I had found out. Not that I cared one way or the other.

Memory remains fuzzy as to time, the following year after the death of my mother is more than blurry. It is my hope that I can began to heal from this as well as everything else. Another good friend of mine had told me when mom died to—take time out to grieve her passing—I didn’t. Not that denial was intentional, I was set to fast forward – seemed like time was running out. I guess that now looking back it had already ran out. I was just in too much shock and grief to acknowledge. I was set to auto pilot.

Trying to stay alive from the abuser Hal Richardson and his cronies—I have long since made several enemies in the judiciary that wish silently and not so silently of my death and or more pain. Rene M Netherton and M. Jill Dykes the current GAL aka Guardian ad litem or better known as Court Appointed Child Abusers”, to name but two.

I was at this time also being harassed by my so called friends—and neighbor—just more non humans- who see a situation and take advantage of it. In fact had it not been for a complete stranger—one neighbor a Vietnam veteran—crazier than I—I would not have been able to go to my mom’s funeral. You see my trusted friends/ neighbor had been a shade tree mechanic, they destroyed my car, stole from me,-- anyhow, this Vietnam vet who I had never met—or even talked to before—was pushing his trash out at some time I must have been outside, he said something to me, I burst into tears--- telling the whole story of my mom’s death… no way to get to Texas let alone her funeral in western Kansas.

The day before the funeral, he pulls up in a dark blue Saturn—don’t recall the model but the color and make. He had rented the car for me under his name, I had no identity, I a ghost to avoid being tracked down.. even on the state address confidentiality program. Any ways, this stranger, a person who later became my end world and humanity—talks bud, provided a rental car for me to go to my mom’s funeral.

I drove down the night before her funeral. I stayed in a motel of the not so pleasing—but it was hard to find a room, not because my mom had sold out the small town with her death – something else was going on. I recall twitter had recently made its debut, in fact I was ‘AngelFury’ on twitter, I bêta tested all new tech stuff--- I remember tweeting this:

“It’s not what is engraved upon a marble stone of how you led your life—but instead what is engraved on the human heart’ (pernicious?) it would have been November 8^th, 2008—I buried mom the next day.

That is how I felt; I had a whole page of these inspiring quotes. I held them close to my heart throughout the funeral and weeks if not months following in a book bound in brown leather called ‘the secret’. Yeah, I like that philosophy. I even gave one to my dear daughter.- will have to dig it out I am sure that all these quotes are still in that book. Along with the following battered mothers custody conference January 2009 where my dead mom—what little insurance there was donated 5 rooms for mothers for the conference. As did her obituary as to donations were to be sent.

<PUT OBIT HERE>

I had 3 sets of suits—I could not decide which to wear at her funeral—mom had bought them for me the Christmas before—for court, for public speaking, for media, for conferences. They were and still are high dollar ass kicking—class act suits with flare, color and style—I was the best dressed in Shawnee shit fucking county—every time I went to hell court—I would never win in court by their rules—but I always shined bright, better and with class, self respect and dignity. Thank you mom, (she, even against her own very rebellious mind advised me to not wear red) but red is my color—the color of the blood spilled, the color of absolute disrespect for the mortal gods who wear black robes—the man gods called judges.

My red suit remains my favorite suit.

For mom’s funeral, I wore the same conservative pinstripe black and white suit/skirt, low black heels I wore in court that fateful day November 4, 2008. In my mother’s honor, I did in court all the right things without selling my soul, Rikki’s or my mothers. I really do not even remember the funeral. I only remember driving back with a carload of her stuff that was not stolen, some blankets etc, in a rental car that a Vietnam veteran had rented for me. Back to Topeka to unleash in mind was my only goal—Complete exposure of this case, for my mother. I would never stop, ever until justice prevailed. I burned on this, I lived on the adrenaline of this, I could barely spell my name—but hung onto this single simple fact that they had done pissed me off and my mom was now dead and in her after life—there would be hell to pay—momma was strong and in her death—mountains would indeed move for the incredible insane injustice—the spitting upon her grave – if you will, yes this was the time, and justice would fall upon all those rightly so.

In that December 2008, mom had been in her grave less than a month--- as my mom always did – she would pre order shit to be delivered at Christmas – birth days—etc… She said because she was a senile old bat-- When came a knock at my door. It was UPS or something, delivering to me a package…. I signed for it walked back into the abandoned house I had lived in for several years – for my safety- I opened the box and BAM…!! There was a note from my dead mom.

“For your work, change the world, save my granddaughter’’

I opened the box... a very high dollar top of the line lap top entertainment center—32 and 64 bit system—I am writing on it now.

I crumbled, I had to scan it and send it out to other via the internet—moms note (not hand written) but typed as she had instructed.—as who in the fuck would believe this? I didn’t… I had to scan that note and send it out—I knew I had suffered a great loss—the greatest. And as a psych nurse, I knew all the trademarks of collapse. I had to show this to others—just to know that I was not insane—imagining or even hallucinating. Momma was powerful in her life, who the fuck knew all she could do—free from her mortal body, and free of pain, free to be the wind.

Chapter One A Little Girl

Chapter One

A Little Girl

When I was young, I literally had the world by a string. Obviously I had youth, was smart, funny and pretty. I was athletic, cocky and a tom boy that not even boys could hold a candle too. I was a perfect pain in the ass for any parent. Defiant, strong willed, opinionated, questioned everything, especially authority and determined to conquer any and all challenges that came my way. I was a Dombrowski. Everything I did, I did well, and life was a challenge of prizes all mine for the taking. Now this is not to say that life as a young girl was not difficult as it was, a country girl, it did however make the victories in my life so much grander. I would venture to say, that I was also a nightmare child for any ‘normal’ parent, thank God my parents were not ‘normal’.

I was the oldest of four children born to my mother, Betty Sales-Stumpf-Dombrowski. She was eighteen years old when she gave birth to me. My father was from Belgium, a legal immigrant with a visa who had just travelled to the United States to join the American military. In the 1960’s the world admired the U.S. and my father being born in the concentration camps of Dachau when liberated by the US in 1942, well—he as a young man of age 18 like all who come to America have dreams and held the US in the highest of regards. He was sponsored by a family from Beloit, Kansas to learn the English language and work at a co-op as a feed sacker- his goal to join the American military. He met my mom instead.

The apple does not fall far from the tree, like my mother, it was easy to see how my father fell so in love with my mother. I imagine the purest love between the two. And it was. Two 18 year old kids in the 60’s the decade of peace and love, camping at the Kansas lakes (my mother a native Kansan) my father just learning English-French was/is his primary language. I even found the lake that they both so often frequented. They fished and camped at every chance they could get at Lake Kannapolis in western Kansas.

I was born 9 months later after one of their camping trips, in 1965. I was a wanted child—imagine that, they actually tried to get pregnant; they loved each other that much. Then they had me….life B.C. – my mom lovingly used to say BC stood for life “Before Claudine”- she said I could take any way I wanted- good or indifferent, but that life would never be the same after you met me.

My father wanted a girl; he even had my named picked before I was born. I asked him one day why he had named me Claudine- he replied “I wanted you to have a totally French name’- well so here I am. Claudine—the last name Dombrowski really a derivative from the Ukraine in fact Romania where my grandmother was before her imprisonment in the concentration camps during WWII. A Gypsy of Roma, and in my imagination Vlad the impaler aka Dracula, maybe this is where I inherited my love for horror movies and books? Likely not, my mom was a avid fan of horror as I am and as is my daughter, so it’s a maternal thing. Interesting though none the less.

Dombrowski original spelling is Dombrovsky – Yes, Russian.

A note here: my mother’s father—was in the 2^nd wave of Normandy invasion, He was in the US Army. I find it quite ironic in that my grandfather helped to liberate my own father when he was a child. Had it not been for that, my father may not have survived; hence, I would not be either. When my father came here from Europe and when he and my mother were married, my grandfather gave his daughter away at the wedding to a man who was born in a concentration camp that he helped to liberate. No wonder my father had such a high regard for the US. As did my WWII grandfather CLARK C. Sheldon, God rest his soul, January 18^th, 1998.

My mother was also very athletic; she was a swimmer and a tennis player. My father, well he swam the English Channel. I later learned as an adult that – that is pretty cool thing. So, I guess you could say I was destined to be as such, athletic, swimming is my love, and of course a pain in the ass as I was treated as a princess “PACHA” French for ‘ruler of the heart’, my nick name my father had given me as a baby and the same attitude I carried throughout my youth. See their union was not a farmer John and Betsy the milkmaid simplicity so I guess international and time through history and back around is a better description.

By the time I was age 16, my grandfather-the WWII one had taught me to ride my own motor cycle. I went to my 1^st Sturgis riding with WWII vets on my own bike, with honor. I was not a typical biker girl—I was a driver in control of my own destiny, grandpa taught me how to not be, but how to be—never get drunk, but secrets to drinking asshole under the table, and I dressed accordingly to the rules of the road.

In fact my mother also rode a bike—it was her bike that I learned on, later changed that poor Honda 360 into a dirt bike, had been stopped as a kid in Hayes Kansas, by a cop in VW rabbit –(I kid you not—I could have out run that dude but I was young and well his sirens were not rabbit style) for underage driving and no Motor cycle Drivers License, mom did not know any of this, she worked nights at the hospital and my brother little Joe and I, well we were more than ornery kids on a hot summer in a small town, she was sleeping and I wanted to keep it that way shhhhh. J

At the age of 15, my whole world changed. I was an emancipated minor. See, I told you I was hell on wheels- not that I was really hell--- I just was bored to easily with peer group age oriented stuff. I was never a ‘bad’ person, always extremely compassionate, I found I had no patience for the non human ignorant and now a days would be called political bullshit. I used to think I was an alien, sent to earth for some punishment from my home planet against humanity. lol

So, I got all my Drivers Licenses’ still have my Motor Cycle license, It was ‘strongly recommended’ that I no longer attend high school- ( apparently I was not appropriate for the sheep following classes) I then started college –( which later in family court would be used against me as failure to complete HS) where I began to pursue a degree in Nursing. Ok, so I was a bit immature for college so I partied for two years, waited tables at a truck stop night shift, had a blast had my own house, paid my own bills, had my own car, motor cycle—then I took a bunch of phys Ed classes for a year, 60 credit hours—you had to have 30 if you were a HS drop out-- and at age 18 joined the army.

Nursing or medical has always been a part of my life. My mother as a young mother herself worked two jobs and paid her way through nursing, she was a PA, CCRN, coronary care specialist who worked experimental medicine in Anaheim, CA before her death. I had no choice really than to go into medicine. Mom would say that I if I wanted to be anything I had to be a nurse 1^st, so I could afford to pay for whatever else I wanted to be. Mom was very wise.

So at age 18, I was an army combat medic. And still having the time of my life. Not old enough to drink legally, but on the base at Ft. Sam Houston in San Antonio, TX. my barracks was atop the hill of the PX.. I legally could drink on base. We had so much fun. Then we would run 10 miles the next morning—AIT.. (known as Advanced Individual Training) and if you fell out of a run – bye, bye party time with your buds. You could stop and puke—that was cool but don’t fall out ever. I never did.

My battalion was a mix of air born rangers, green berets and was ran by a female CO-(who hated her own sex) there were about 500 men and 60 women. This was a combat slot, combat medic. And like the tom boy I am…. was thinking ok, medical but helicopters oh yeah!! I was in heaven. A huey chopper sounds and felt like a Harley on a ride to Sturgis with gramps and his WWII gang. I even learned to repel out of those choppers. About 6 years later they came out with the black hawk, I recall them saying how they would make it for en re ambulance style, I don’t think they ever really did use black hawk for this, I was pretty much out of the military by this time.

I was in and out of the military for what my DD-214 says: 10 years and some months—long ago lost it.

During a time I was not in—I was age 23 at this time I had gone to beauty school—and owned my first business. The hair port—which I later sold for profit after 5 years, bought a fancy fifth wheel hitch hiker with hydraulic sliding dining room and bedroom—designed by Fleetwood—plush carpet white oak cabinets. I then lived on the beach in Corpus Christie, till I went broke and came back to Kansas, I became a MHT- mental health tech at Topeka State hospital, found my passion where I could apply nursing.

I went active duty army again in 1993-1994—civilian contract. I stayed in Kansas did emporia state university for my nursing; the military paid for it all and paid me a salary. I signed 6 years to the army, and did one weekend a month while on active duty civilian contract. I was pregnant with Rikki during this time, CHAMPUS even paid for my literal million dollar baby. Rikki, she was over a million dollars in medical due to all the violence I endured while pregnant with her.. I was age 30 when Rikki was born.

2011-05-11

Mothers Day Nightmare - Leaving The War Zone

Leaving The War Zone

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150149814865229.333339.769640228&l=0127776f65

Mothers Day Nightmare

May 10^th, 2011

The night before last night, it was mother’s day no less. I had a terrible dream. My daughter had died, and I was not informed, like everything else in her life –and in the dream-her death, I frantically was searching the computer –where, how and when and why—when would the funeral be --where? I found it, like I do on her school track stuff—I saw her from a distance at two meets this year—frantically searching.

Once I found where the funeral was via the internet, online obituaries, I went. I was met at the door by hostile forces—like I am now currently met whenever I try to attend something that my daughter—may or may not be in. In the dream, nothing changed. I was denied to see my daughter. To be a part of her life at all—and now her death.

In the dream, I went to her dad’s to get some pictures of her life—I have none for you see it has been 11 years since I was allowed any photographs of my dear daughter. Including school photos. As well as a denial to all school and medical records. In the dream for some dumb reason I thought I may at least obtain some photos of my daughter in her life of the past 11 years – I was wrong. Nothing had changed-just like my reality- I am denied.

Mothers day this year was especially hard on me. As they all have been this past 17 years. My own dear mom died, my daughter all but—except in the dream. I stayed home in bed watching end world stuff on FX—storms, tornadoes, meteors—all those low grade but non reality shows—to keep my mind off both my mom and my daughter. Secretly in my heart, I had hoped for a cyber foot print from at least my daughter. It never came.

Here we are two days after the nightmare.-the only dream I have ever had of my daughter. I do not know why, but I have never dreamed of her—perhaps the torment is too great and my mind denies me this too. I crave to have dreams about my daughter and about my mom. I miss them. My heart, all I ever loved dead and or gone.

That is why the nightmare above so unnerved me. Finally a dream about my daughter. Not what I had in mind. Easy to explain though, as it is what life is now. Some people with children could call it ‘empty nest’ I call it just gone. Hence I feel 17 years of hope and ‘it will all work out’ –has come and passed.

Nothing worked out. Hope does not float—except perhaps to keep me going through all the years of rikkis child hood. But now that too is gone. Just like my mom.

I am tired of the movement- drained in fact. There is nothing left of me, to even give to myself. So many moms new in the battle—messages of ‘you inspire me’, messages of ‘help me.’ Messages of ‘this the 1^st mothers day without my child’—birthday, holiday, sun rise and sunset, weeks into months, then years, and I have no words left in me to say they only get worst. The tears that so many cry will never go away. The pain like a knife in my soul so real so jagged that surely like the ‘1^st mothers day’ and the 17^th one later, I knew I would just die. I haven’t. the tears have turned to tears of blood and become even more heavy.

So, I have thought about all this the past few days. To take care of me, whatever me is left. To finally let go and go forward with life. I have a pool set up, a gazebo- well in Kansas the winds are as high as the temps- gazebo idea has yet to work out quite like I thought it would.

I am here now, painting a room, mowing the grass- it is peaceful here. No one around except the trees, the wind, the birds, the sun and my thoughts. Sometimes like last year I can even feel my mom. Today though, I feel noting but emptiness. Thinking, about my cat Gus the closest family I have, then thinking god, what life? Why look forward to the next 20 years-? I’m old now, my health has followed suit. What do I do? How do I heal myself?

That is it. The real issues. What is left of me needs to heal from the trauma—no one could ever heal but to allow at least the scar tissue to form.

I am trying, but again I feel only emptiness. Why do I have 24 ft pool? My daughter will never swim in it—my mom wont. That part of my life, Rikki and I both grew up in the pool- is gone. Oh sure I love the pool, it does offer peace even by myself, but this year no hope for Rikki. No connection with my mom yet. But definitely feel the body pains of age and my own physical issues and hydrotherapy was long ago ordered for all the broken bones, and arthritis- of late – even more, so swimming is the only thing that is not painful, in fact it feels like heaven.

I have heard that some parents have to literally divorce the child from their own hearts and mind to survive. Let it go- act as though there never was. Maybe that is what I need to try to do. The memory is tearing me apart—as it did in the beginning of abuser litigation—17 years ago—it continues now to the end.

Oh sure, in some small place in my heart she may come back—but only if her jailer is gone—and I do mean as in dead. As so many other child survivors have told me—the abuser literally had to A. die or B. go to jail—either way they were not ever free of the torment as long as the presence of complete evil was anywhere near, and they don’t just of free will decide to do that. Its all about control, to them there is no life without it.

Thing is-- we all know only the good die young- he will outlive me. As fast as my health is going—he will be around years after I am gone. And Rikki still knowing nothing about her mother—her maternal family. So I have decided to try to write to her about things that I would want to know about my mom—especially if I had never seen her. As is the case with rikki.

Well, so much for divorcing her out of mind and soul… maybe I could write it as letter or something, 3^rd party perhaps. But I do at least need to write it, as I need to—I love her too much to not. A very dear friend of mine Susan Murphy Milano once said to me—‘you can’t miss what you never had’- but I do. I know I gave birth to a beautiful little girl who about died before she was even born due to all the beatings inflicted by her loving father- and captor.

I know we had 7 years of life of freedom—although they were court hell. Monthly hearings sometimes even weekly in the family court, to include two KS State Appeals, two petitions for review at KS supreme court and even an international law suit. But we were together, minus his long visits’. We saw each other, we laughed, we played, we cried, we talked. It was perfect in an imperfect world. She, wise beyond her years and for good reason. The only child hood she did know—I was at least able to give her that and be a part of that for her, she so deserved to just be a kid. And she was-- until she was taken from me and given to the abuser at the tender age of 7 never to see her mom again, in any meaningful way.

I am still seeking freedom, in this land of the non free- held special for a sadistic criminal to continue his reign of terror. Specially advocated through the family court mafia- the profit- of blood.

Before you think that I am all gloom and doom-although the past 17 years has been like a torturous death day in and day out- I am learning me again. A person who loved to read, loved life-more so now after so much darkness, I embrace every living thing, every tree that blows in the wind. As I know how very precious and how so very beautiful the world is.

2011-04-25

Dombrowski Drawings Tears and Bruises – I Miss Mom

2011-04-15

Claudine Dombrowski--Insanity? Nope. Family Court in Kansas

http://www.helpmomsprotect.com/id12.html

Help Moms Protect

Help MOMS Protect---Claudine Dombrowski

Open Letter

High Profile Mothers

***Claudine Dombrowski

Please carefully view these pictures. Notice the bruises on her arms above her wrists on both arms. Do they look like this was a mutual fight or are those marks of trying to defend herself against the brutality inflicted on her?

Insanity? Nope. Family court in Kansas

Imagine that your home was broken into, vandalized and burglarized one night. You were roughed up and tied up while he ransacked your home. Fortunately, he left you shaken and hurt, but not seriously injured such as to require hospitalization. You were successfully able to identify him and his vehicle as he sped away.
Upon your call to the police, the offender is apprehended with the goods in his possession and brought to court to stand trial for his crimes against you.
You arrive in court and the first thing the judge asks you is if you are willing to go to mediation with the burglar. When you refuse, the judge labels you ‘uncooperative’ and ‘hostile’ to the burglar's continued relationship with you. Even though the burglar was caught red-handed with your goods, and you were an eye witness to the crime, the judge now decides that he can't possibly decide the case without first appointing a social worker termed a "burglary evaluator"
to assess yours and the burglar's relationship.

When the social worker/evaluator can not determine what is best for your relationship or your stolen goods, they ask the judge to have both you and the burglar psychologically evaluated, because you seem "anxious", "angry" and "uncooperative" with the burglar. The court-appointed psychologist, who has no experience in being the victim of violent crime and has not studied the effects of such trauma, also determines that you are uncooperative, hostile, anxious, and you
have a negative opinion of the burglar that can't be healthy. After all, the burglar had nothing but good things to say about you, your home and your belongings during his evaluation.

The psychologist recommends that you be restricted from access to your belongings until you can accept the burglar's rightful relationship to continued access to your home and personal effects. He further recommends you attend weekly conjoint therapy with the burglar to work on being more cooperative with him in the future.
All at your expense of course.

The judge decides to wait a year or so to see how you work through your relationship with the burglar before he can decide upon the burglary conviction. He chastises you that you had better really work at the relationship or he may just grant the burglar's request to maintain sole ownership of your property. None of these "experts" can be sued civilly for their negligence and incompetence because they have judicial or quasi-judicial immunity.
Insanity? Nope. Family court in Kansas.

Domestic violence victims walk into family court to ask a judge to protect their children from a known abuser. Instead, they face the above-described nightmare that can span years and put them into financial ruin, mental and emotional exhaustion, not to mention directly back into the path of the abuser. Judges pressure them to mediate, assign a custody evaluator who pressures them to accept 50/50 joint physical and legal custody with theirs and their children's abuser.
They and their children are put through psychological evaluations by persons with little to no training in domestic violence, and some judges force co-parenting therapy and reunification therapy upon mother and child with their perpetrators. If they can not fit into the mold of cooperative "co-parenting" and the children continue to be reluctant to visit with the man that abused them, they face losing custody to him.

We have spent millions of dollars printing brochures and making public service announcements to victims of domestic violence encouraging them to leave violent relationships and telling them of the harmful effects on their children.

But when they do get the courage to leave, the same system tells them they are wrong to try to protect their children once they have divorced their abuser, and that they should now fully and freely support unsupervised visitation with the same dangerous person. Contrary to popular belief, children of batterers can be at just as much risk psychologically, sexually, and even physically after the couple splits up as they were when the family was still together. In fact, many children experience the most damaging victimization from the abuser at this point.

Most people assume that a fit mother never loses custody. If only that were true. The American Judges Association reports that "Studies show that batterers have been able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases." Unfortunately, the state of Kansas’s current laws also says that none of these people can be held accountable, either.
And so we go on, handing down family violence from one generation to the
next...

KMFCJ-founded by Claudine Dombrowski,a Protective Parent and survivor of Domestic Violence and systemic abuse. The goals of KMFCJ is to publish informed news releases, links and commentaries relating to protective parents and their children who continue to be victimized by the abuser and or the court system.
www.AngelFury.org

Kansas Mothers For Custodial Justice BLOG|Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories-Abusers getting custody

KANSAS

CLAUDINE DOMBROWSKI CASE, Shawnee County, Kansas. Claudine lost custody of her baby daughter to the man who did this, thanks to Judge James P. Buchele, who refused to permit adequate testimony at trial, shortening it to benefit his docket, and also ordered Claudine to move back to Topeka to live near the man who did this, for the sake of their "co-parenting." WHAT?! He is a man with multiple criminal convictions for violent behavior (Battery, Attempted Battery, Battery of a Law Enforcement Officer, Obstruction of Legal Process, Possession of Marijuana and violation of Open Container law), a man who has beaten and raped Claudine multiple times before and after her divorce from him, a man who has threatened to kill her and her child.
Worse, Judge Buchele also ordered Claudine not to call the police any more without the permission of her case manager. When Judge James Buchele retired, Judge Richard D. Andersonaffirmed Buchele's previous orders, including the illegal prohibition on Claudine's being able to call the police.
Guardian ad litem Scott McKenzie deserves a substantial portion of the credit for this travesty. I ask, how in hell can this happen in the United States of America?

The following is from Stopfamilyviolence.org Please visit there site.

Claudine Dombrowski - Kansas

Claudine was a psychiatric LPN. Now she is disabled and though a cane is medically indicated, she continues to be mobile on her own. The father owns his own business in Topeka. The abuse started when she was four months pregnant when she found out he was married to another woman. The child was already 11 months old before they were married in late 1995. Four months after marrying, the father filed for divorce in March 1996. In May 1996, mother asked for permission to move with the child to another city in Kansas because of the closing of a hospital where she worked. She had obtained employment in the other city and it would help her escape from his unremitting violence. Permission to move was granted. Four days later, father filed to change custody of the child to him.

During the course of the litigation, he admitted hitting Claudine and that it was a reason for her to leave the home but claimed it was not the reason she left every time. He admitted he told her to leave, pushed her out of the home, and paid no child support. He admitted to twisting her leg and scratching her face. According to her, he beat her 2 - 3 times a week. He pointed and cocked a shot gun at her while she was feeding the baby. He cut up her military uniform. He beat her when the baby dirtied the house. She was kicked out, locked out and would leave 3-4 times a week to escape the violence. Often she was gone for 2-3 weeks to maintain her safety and that of the child. Though she had a perfectly valid reason to leave and was in fact protecting the child, court personnel later used that to claim she would hide the child and therefore he should have custody.

In one incident, he hit her in the head so severely she required 14 internal stitches and 14 external stitches. When the court questioned the parties about this on the stand, the judge was far more worried about where it happened and who was telling the truth than the admitted and verifiable fact that he did hit her in the head with an object that left that much damage. Whether he hit her in the head with a big stick in his driveway or he hit her in the head with a tire iron in her apartment – he hit her in the head resulting in severe injury. The judge however lectured both parties about lying. See Exhibit 1 for photos of the petitioner after beatings by the child’s father.

While the father admitted the abuse, he claimed it was mutual combat. However not only did she have a protection order against him, but the man has eight criminal convictions - three convictions for domestic violence against her, a conviction for a bar fight, a conviction for assaulting a police officer, a conviction for obstruction of justice, one for possession of marijuana and one for driving under the influence. Pursuant to his various convictions, he was ordered to attend alcohol treatment – he didn’t. He was ordered to a psychiatric evaluation – he didn’t go. He was ordered to anger management classes but was asked to leave because of his inappropriate behavior. Domestic violence professionals know that anger management is not a suggested treatment modality for domestic violence perpetrators.

Court personnel not only were blind to the violence, they were completely ignorant of safety issues for the mother and child. Dr. Bernie Nobo, a licensed social worker, testified that it was a volatile situation. He actually had to stop the father from assaulting the mother in a meeting. Still he said there was no danger to the child but suggested she might hide to protect herself. In fact, that would be a very sensible thing to do. He diagnosed her as primarily depressed and the father as adjustment disorder with mixed emotional features (depression or anxiety). Not only is depression a reasonable response to the situation, but as a social worker, he is not qualified to make such diagnosis. Nobo did say her parenting was fine and he recommended supervised visitation to father.

The court services officer knew of the domestic violence and in fact listed it as the biggest concern. But rather than deal with the perpetrator, she suggested that the child should be put into foster care – thereby punishing the child who would lose a perfectly good loving and protective mother and would punish the mother for being a victim of abuse. The officer claimed the mother was a risk to run though she admitted she had never had any trouble contacting her. The officer was more concerned that the father have access to the child than the safety of the child or the mother.

Kansas statutes require joint custody unless there is a reason for sole and the GAL recommended custody to father because he lived near the court while mother had moved out of town (with the court’s permission) and he wanted to keep this child near the other three step-children from other marriages of the father. The GAL never talked to the mother or child, to the day care or the child’s physician nor did he do a home study. The GAL said the violence was so far fetched he didn’t believe it though he only knew of one conviction for DUI and never talked to the battered women’s shelter. Astonishingly, the GAL recommended the mother go to anger management classes.

On April 17, 1997 during a settlement conference, the mother was stunned by her own attorney suggesting she agree to a joint custody arrangement with a man she knew to be extremely dangerous. Her lawyer and the judge threatened the mother that he would grant sole custody to the father because allegedly she would not work together with him. This of course completely discounts the impossibility of working with a man as violent as this perpetrator. Though admitting that the violence lessened when she moved away, the judge said he would give shared custody only if she moved back to Topeka where the father lived and where the violence occurred. Forcing her to resettle in Topeka near the perpetrator, a routine practice of family courts, is the state forcing her directly into danger. It is a violation of the fundamental rights of life, safety and to be free from torture and other maltreatment. Essentially the court required the mother to give up her right to life and safety for custody of child. She did. Only to lose custody as well. She agreed to the settlement only to change attorneys and file a motion to set aside four days later.

In 1998, the child's doctor reported the child had very poor hygiene when staying with father. The day care provider reported a change in her behavior after being with the father. She became either withdrawn or aggressive. A nurse requested an investigation of psychological abuse because of his treatment of the child.

On 31 July 2000, without any motion from either party and without a hearing, the judge simply issued an order that the mother had to relocate to Topeka if she wanted any possibility of obtaining custody. She did so but then in August, the judge ordered the child to remain with the father. In December 2000, supervised visitation was ordered for mother because she had allegedly returned the child late to the fathers over Christmas. They suspended all contact for several months and then she was allowed two hours a week supervised. The bizarre behavior of the courts was evident from as early as 1998 when they granted a divorce twice as evidenced by their own records – April 17 and October 28, 1998.

At the time of this filing, the mother had supervised visits once a week after having had no contact for 10 months based on an ex parte order without an evidentiary hearing issued 3 February 2004. At time of this filing, the mother had last seen the child on 15 April 2007 for one hour.

Over these 11 years of litigation, the judge was changed several times. One judge limited each side to five witnesses at trial and then continued to call them liars when they could not prove what they had said or disprove what the other had said because they were prohibited from calling witnesses. While the judge chastised the father for game playing in the court, he then berated the mother for not coming to agreement with the father. He could see how unreasonable the father was and the judge was not subject to violence from the man but yet he blamed the mother for not reaching an agreement. He said any child in this situation would grow up damaged but then blamed the mother rather than the father who was the one committing the violence. The judged focused on the mother’s move to escape the violence rather than the harm of the violence itself. The court excluded evidence of his extensive criminal record, medical records and other records of violence. In addition to mother, other witnesses knew of the violence and that the child witnessed it. But still the court saw no danger to the child.

In spite of an order of protection against the father and his eight criminal convictions, three against her, one judge said it was mutual violence and besides she provoked it. He said there was no evidence that the father mistreated the children and ordered joint custody and both parties to anger management. She was ordered not to call law enforcement about the father without getting permission of the case manager. In other words, he could assault her freely and she was not allowed to even call the police. She was told to stop gathering evidence against the father. In March 2005, she was ordered not to file any more motions in the court without permission from the case manager – she had filed a motion to remove that case manager. In other words, she was even denied access to the court.

ex parte order without an evidentiary hearing issued 3 February 2004. At time of this filing, the mother had last seen the child on 15 April 2007 for one hour.

The complete failure of the court to protect the victim continued after father received custody. When she complained that the father forced her to have sex if she wanted to see the child, the case manager said that it was just part of co-parenting so deal with it.

She appealed twice to the Supreme Court of Kansas. In the appeal, she alleged not just for herself but that the policies and procedures of the Kansas courts denied the right to a full and fair hearing, denied equal protection and due process, and violated fundamental rights. She first filed in 1997, the appellate court affirmed the lower court in 1998 and the Supreme Court rejected review in 1999. She appealed again in 1999 and again the appellate court affirmed the lower court in 2000.

In July 2002, mother again regained unsupervised visitation.

On 25 August 2003, Claudine was attacked with a hammer and her arm broken by Kathleen Sales. Sales later admitted she was paid by the father who assured her no charges would be filed. They weren’t.

On 3 February 2004, false allegations were made against mother that she sought to have harm done to the father. The mother objected to the order and asked for an evidentiary hearing. The request was never even heard. By March 2005, mother had only supervised visitation that has remained to this day.

In March 2002, Dr. Dale did an evaluation for unsupervised visits with mother and recommendation for therapy. The evaluation cost $5,000 and father admitted violence and the mother was found not to be any danger to the father or child. She was however ordered to shut down her web site that she had constructed. On the website she expressed her opinion and her facts about the case and the danger the child was being put into by the court. In a second order later, she was ordered to remove the child’s photo from another website. After this evaluation, she had unsupervised visitation from May 2002 until 3 February 2004.

Repeatedly when father files motions, they are heard with negative consequences for mother and child based on the flimsiest of evidence or none at all. But when mother files motions, they are never even heard. A home study ordered into the father’s home in February 2006 was never done. On 14 April 2006, the court held a conference in chambers and refused to allow the mother to attend. The court changed the orders from a home study of father to a study of mother to assess her risk to the child. The evaluation found no risk and was positive for mother. Still supervised visitation was not changed.

In a hearing on 10 April 2007, the mother has asked yet again that the child be protected from abuse and at least she have unsupervised visitation. Again the court refused. The child spoke out in 2003 and three CPS reports have been filed but in all three, they claimed that the mother coached the child who is now 12 and certainly able to speak for herself and punished both mother and child by restricting visitation time further. The lesson is clear – don’t report abuse.

The latest in Claudine's own words except we remove the child's name per court order.

The written testimony that you have was filed at the inter American commission human rights known as Dombrowski v us 2007 For the Policy and procedure of Family/Juvenile Courts routinely placing battered mothers children with abuser and pedophiles. The Court’s record is complete, as well as a simple Google search of my name for any more information and court records on this case alone are available as they are to massive to even begin to present.

My name is Claudine Dombrowski, I am a US Army Veteran. I was a psychiatric nurse for thirteen years with the state of Kansas and the VA. Until December 2000 when I was placed on 100% physical disability related to violence inflicted by the batterer.

In May of 1996 I was given permission to relocate to western Kansas to avoid the unremitting violence that I and my daughter suffered at the hands of the batterer, this was after I had been beaten with a crow bar, by an admitted and convicted batterer.

In July 200o without any motion from any party the Judge simply on his own issued a 11 page Order by ‘snail mail’ giving complete custody of my 6 year old daughter to a man known to have a violent drug and alcohol addiction past.

In a hearing on 10 April 2007, the mother has asked yet again that the child be protected from abuse and at least she have unsupervised visitation. Again the court refused. The child spoke out in 2003 and three CPS reports have been filed but in all three, they claimed that the mother coached the child who is now 12 and certainlyable to speak for herself and punished both mother and child by restricting visitation time further. The lesson is clear – don’t report abuse.

In May 2007, I was enrolled automatically into the states Address confidentiality program Safe at home- a program administered by the secretary of state for victims of Domestic Violence-thereby protecting at least my address from the Abuser and the Courts by proxy.

In June 2007 the courts denied my daughter to see her grandmother for the last time (in supervised vists) related to her terminal illness- Grandmother had made her last trip to Kansas with child’s dog to say good bye to all her grandchildren- all except child ; however they did allow the dog to visit child.

November 4^th 2008 The courts denied child to go to her grandmothers funeral. And further gave the batterer complete control in allowing mother to see child under the strict supervised visitation that had been implemented this past 11 years.

October 2009 Claudine spoke on a local television station regarding Domestic Violence. The next day, she was held in contempt of the court and her rights to see her daughter have been suspended.

I have never been shown to be a threat or harm to my daughter- yet for the last 11 years I have not been able to see her past the confines of extremely structured supervised visits at best when I have been allowed to see her. There are numerous psychiatric reports on the courts file that state that I am not a threat or harm to my daughter quite contrary to that of the well documented violence and substance abuse of the perpetrator.

Then points to add in: to the written testimony are the illegal 2000 custody switch after a 6 year litigation.

Keeping in mind that the this man had 8 criminal convictions of violence

· 2000 custody switch

· My mother was denied to see her granddaughter for her last visit as her health would preclude any future visits- my child in 2007- they did let the dog however

· In fall 2008 my mother died Rikki was not allowed to go to funeral

· Last week attys called DC iachr

· Abusers has 8 criminal convictions et el

· Ten years in SUPERVISED visits

Current order of the Courts and my sentence for contempt Dec 16^th reads.

11/13/2009

MISC. Petitioner in person and by Don Hoffman. Respondent in person and by Robert E. Duncan, II. G.A.L., Jill Dykes, in person. Court Reporter: Digital Div. 13. Matter comes before Court on Respondent's motion for unsupervised visitation and Petitioner's motion for contempt. Parties have agreed that motion for contempt will be deferred pending Petitioner's locating and removing all referenced items to the minor child on the internet. Matter to be reset if disagreement between the parties about removal of items referring to minor child and her likeness from internet. Court interview minor child - no record per agreement of the parties. Court suspends parenting time of Respondent due to Respondent's continued use of her website and the internet to publish photographs of minor child and statements reference minor child. Court will entertain motion to reinstate parenting time once Respondent deletes all photographs and likenesses of minor child, any reference to minor child on her website and the internet, agree not to discuss Court proceedings with minor child and not to discuss divorce with minor child. Review set for December 16, 2009, at 10:00 a.m. T. Duncan to do JE. DBD

Click for court documents

Click for Breaking the Silence

2011-04-13

Men’s Murderous Revenge

It’s Not Angst Over Custody: Fathers Kill Their Children to Punish Their Ex-Partners

Men’s Murderous Revenge. It’s not angst over custody: fathers kill their children to punish their ex-partners. SEE: 175 Killer Dads: Fathers who ended their children's lives in situations involving child custody, visitation, and/or child support (USA)

Since Arthur Freeman was found guilty of murdering his four-year-old daughter, Darcey, much of the media focus has been on the distress of fathers going through separation and custody disputes. There has been a call for more support for fathers. See Federal Fatherhood Funding.

However, we must ask ourselves whether we are losing sight of the victims and, more importantly, whether this is the best approach to preventing these deaths from occurring in the future.

While the community understandably struggles to comprehend a parent killing a child, our research shows that these are not inexplicable tragedies. There is a particular type of filicide (the killing of children by parents) that occurs in the context of the separation of the parents.

In these ”spousal revenge” cases – as recognised by the Freeman jury – fathers kill their children to punish their ex-partners. There is usually no prior violence against the children. In fact, they appear to love their children. The act of killing is directed towards harming the child’s mother. The motive is revenge.

In the case of Freeman and Robert Farquharson (found guilty of three counts of murder of his sons Bailey, Tyler and Jai, aged two to 10, who drowned in a dam near Winchelsea), both fathers indicated that they wished to punish their ex-partner. Shortly before killing Darcey, Freeman told his ex-wife to say goodbye to her children and that she would never see them again – clearly to make her suffer. Farquharson told a friend that he would make his ex-wife suffer by taking what mattered to her most – her children.

Contrary to some claims, these cases are not about fathers losing access to their children. The reality is that in both cases, the fathers had access to their children and, in both cases, killed them during it. There is no logic to the thinking that if a person is distressed about not spending enough time with their kids they would decide to kill them.

If, however, they are consumed with anger and hatred towards their ex-partner and wish to hurt them, then it is, tragically, a very effective means to do so.

The killing of the children in such cases should be recognised as a form of violence against the mother. We need to explore the relationship between the parents in order to understand the killing of children. In particular, the father’s attitudes and behaviour towards the mother before, and after, separation must be examined. VicHealth has clearly identified the underlying causes of violence against women as including belief in rigid gender roles and a masculine sense of entitlement.

What we really need to challenge is the sense of entitlement that some men have over their families, an entitlement that leads them to believe that their partner has no right to leave them and no right to form a new relationship, and that punishing her is justified because of the suffering they themselves experience.

The current focus of commentary suggests that men are victims of the family law system. The mothers seem to be implicitly blamed for the distress their partners experienced when they left them.

Let’s be clear: the first and foremost victims here are the children whose lives are taken. The mothers, whose children have died in perhaps the worst way imaginable, are also the victims, as are remaining siblings and other family members. Darcey Freeman’s mother, Peta Barnes, had expressed concerns about the safety of her children before Darcey’s death. She also expressed concerns about Arthur Freeman’s ”anger management issues” and mood swings. It is important that such concerns are heard and responded to appropriately by a broad range of professionals coming into contact with separating parents, as well as by family and friends.

The family law process must make children’s safety its absolute priority. Importantly, the federal government has a family law bill before Parliament that prioritises the safety of children in family law matters.

The Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoriaacknowledges that separation and family breakdown can be incredibly difficult for parents. Parents should be assisted to deal with separation and encouraged to take responsibility for their behaviour. As a community, we need to focus on building positive and respectful relationships.

We support the call for greater services and support. We ask that these services be equipped to identify and respond to risks to the safety and wellbeing of children and their parents. We need to ensure there is accurate and reliable screening and risk assessment for all forms of family violence. These cases demonstrate that the risk of harm to children is closely linked to risks of harm to the mother.

Cases such as Freeman’s have a profound impact on the community and we are right to search for answers. Unfortunately, there has been very little research on parents who kill their children in the past decade in Australia. If we are to find ways to prevent these deaths, we need a far better understanding of why and how they occur.

Dr Debbie Kirkwood is a researcher at the Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria and is writing a paper on filicide in the context of parental separation.